FMS-Blog : The Wildly Whimsical, Mostly Musical WebLog
Friday, August 25, 2006
Famous Quotes
Many of the diaries that WHSmith publish have on each page an amusing anecdote from some famous person or other and, although they catch my eye now and again, I've got to admit to having ignored them for the most part of the past 6 or 7 years that I've bought organisers etc from this newsagent. But, having a look through this year's academic diary there are actually some really excellent ones that I thought I would share on this sunny Friday afternoon :
"Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true."
-Demosthenes.
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
-Noel Coward.
"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."
-P. G. Wodehouse.
"Incomprehensible jargon is the hallmark of a profession."
-Kingman Brewster.
"Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor.
"The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook."
-Andy Rooney.
"The really frightening thing about middle age is knowing that you'll grow out of it."
-Doris Day.
"I wouldn't mind seeing China if I could come back the same day."
-Philip Larkin.
"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
-Matt Groening.
"My wife is a light eater... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat."
-Henny Youngman.
"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent."
-Marilyn von Savant.
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."
-Peter Kay.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr Seuss.
"Commandment Number One of any truly civilised society is this: let people be different."
-David Grayson.
"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
-Voltaire.
"Some of the worst men in the world are sincere and the more sincere they are the worse they are."
-Quintin Hogg.
"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D. or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."
-Fats Domino.
"People are always open-minded about new things - as long as they're exactly like the old ones."
-Charles Kettering.
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of."
-Burt Bacharach.
"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
-Peter Drucker.
"One should try everything once, except incest and folk-dancing."
-Sir Arnold Bax.
"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."
-Friedrich Nietzsche.
"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten."
-B. F. Skinner.
"I can't understand why people are afraid of new ideas. I'm afraid of old ones."
-John Cage.
"Women like silent men. They think they're listening."
-Marcel Achard.
"I don't suggest that her face has been lifted but there's a possibility that her body has been lowered."
-Clive James.
"Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
-Bill Watterson.
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewellery."
-Rita Rudner.
-Rita Rudner.
