FMS-Blog : The Wildly Whimsical, Mostly Musical WebLog
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Choosing Your Wedding Music
No couple needs reminding that their wedding will probably be the most significant day of their entire lives; the single most meaningful milestone between birth and death and an occasion that will bring them together, permanently and in the presence of their entire circle of friends and family, in love. So, it stands to reason that the ceremony and all the other traditions associated with this coming-together of souls should reflect the joy and sincerity of the promise that the two of you are making to one another.
Because of the very personal nature of marriage, everything about the big day should be arranged to meet your view of what would constitute your ‘perfect’ wedding - there is no such thing as THE perfect wedding but YOUR perfect wedding is achievable given enough vision, determination and support from the pair of you. This is no time for accepting second best and this applies just as much to the music you want played on the day as it does to every other little detail – it has to be right and, if it is to stay with you for the rest of your lives together, it has to mean something to you!
To make it easier to manage, break the day’s music down into four chunks: the ceremony, the drinks reception, the wedding breakfast and the evening reception.
For those couples who have decided to have a religious wedding ceremony, some of the hard work on this first part is already done. Most faiths have a fairly clear repertoire of songs and other pieces that are associated with marriage and these will inevitably become part of the wedding event. In Christian weddings, there are some very well known set works played for the arrival of the bride and for exit music, including Mendelssohn’s and Wagner’s Wedding Marches (the latter being common for the arrival and the former for the exit), The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba by Handel and Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary. If you would like something a little less well known then I would recommend listening to a commercial classical radio station, such as Classic FM, for a couple of weeks and you’ll soon pick up on some perfectly respectable alternatives from the classical music genre that you could put to the church organist. Whilst you chat to him, ask that he keeps his own voluntary at the signing of the register well down – this is often a time for family and friends to take photos of the bride and groom so distractions aren’t always welcome! Your vicar or priest might suggest some appropriate hymns to be sung during the service but take into account that this is still your day so if there is anything you’d specifically like to request then be brave enough to do so.
Civil ceremonies differ from Christian ones only in as much as that there is rarely any congregation participation involved – no singing of hymns – and that no religious music (or music associated with religious weddings, such as the Wagner mentioned above) is allowed to be played. You will still need to decide on pieces for the arrival of the bride and the exit music, as well as coming up with some ideas for the music during the signing of the register and for when your guests enter the room and wait for the ceremony to begin. Other than that, your options are really much greater – you could hire a soloist or a group of musicians to play your favourite pieces, or else have recordings played over the PA system (this might work better if you decide to use rock or pop music). I’m currently working on some pieces that will be composed specifically for a wedding that’s taking place this June, set to the couple’s favourite poems – this is a great idea if you want to really personalise the ceremony. When thinking about the actual event, thought, take into account that locations for civil ceremonies rarely have a piano or organ onsite so any live musician would need to bring his / her own equipment.
The music for the drinks reception and the wedding breakfast are often catered for with a single solution. Some think that it is appropriate to have a quiet area in which the guests can gather for pre-dinner drinks where are others prefer some form of live music. Popular options include solo pianists and small chamber groups such as string quartets or classical trios. Certainly, it would be normal for a little light music to accompany the day’s meal but, again, be sure that the venue organisers have accounted for the space required if live musicians are needed to be present in the dining room. Also, be very specific about what it is you would like them to play – pianists will mostly ‘fill in’ the silences with cocktail style arrangements of popular songs, unless otherwise directed, and it would be the norm for chamber ensembles to play light classics such as Mozart and Haydn quartets. If there is one or two particular pieces you’d really like played then let the musicians know well in advance so that they can purchase any music and get fully prepared. Equally, if you’d like mostly Irish music or your wife’s mother is a big Tom Jones fan then a word in the ear of any pianist will be enough to have him / her meet these requirements, as long as you give that person enough time to organise the music (at least a few weeks). Some musicians advertise as able to ‘take requests’ but even in this case be aware that no man is an encyclopaedia!
A word about the evening reception: wedding DJ’s often come out of a mould holding a vinyl copy of Daydream Believer in one hand and a CD-single of I Am the Music Man in the other. This is all very well if you and your guests are fans of retro-pop-cheese: let’s face it, we all like a good dance at the end of the night to see off a cracking day! But, if you want anything a bit different at your evening reception then you need to be very careful about the person you choose to organise the music – perhaps enquire at your favourite nightclub or approach a band that plays the kind of style you’re into. Whatever you do, make sure that the music reflects what you want out of the evening – some friends of mine went to the lengths of programming an iPod with all the songs they wanted playing and simply sticking it through a PA system in the hotel, thus saving money on a DJ and getting an entire evening of the songs that they loved. This isn’t everyone’s idea of an ideal evening reception but, set off by a live band, it made a unique and memorable night after an unforgettable day. Do what you need to give your wedding the same kind of personal touch.
Because of the very personal nature of marriage, everything about the big day should be arranged to meet your view of what would constitute your ‘perfect’ wedding - there is no such thing as THE perfect wedding but YOUR perfect wedding is achievable given enough vision, determination and support from the pair of you. This is no time for accepting second best and this applies just as much to the music you want played on the day as it does to every other little detail – it has to be right and, if it is to stay with you for the rest of your lives together, it has to mean something to you!
To make it easier to manage, break the day’s music down into four chunks: the ceremony, the drinks reception, the wedding breakfast and the evening reception.
For those couples who have decided to have a religious wedding ceremony, some of the hard work on this first part is already done. Most faiths have a fairly clear repertoire of songs and other pieces that are associated with marriage and these will inevitably become part of the wedding event. In Christian weddings, there are some very well known set works played for the arrival of the bride and for exit music, including Mendelssohn’s and Wagner’s Wedding Marches (the latter being common for the arrival and the former for the exit), The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba by Handel and Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary. If you would like something a little less well known then I would recommend listening to a commercial classical radio station, such as Classic FM, for a couple of weeks and you’ll soon pick up on some perfectly respectable alternatives from the classical music genre that you could put to the church organist. Whilst you chat to him, ask that he keeps his own voluntary at the signing of the register well down – this is often a time for family and friends to take photos of the bride and groom so distractions aren’t always welcome! Your vicar or priest might suggest some appropriate hymns to be sung during the service but take into account that this is still your day so if there is anything you’d specifically like to request then be brave enough to do so.
Civil ceremonies differ from Christian ones only in as much as that there is rarely any congregation participation involved – no singing of hymns – and that no religious music (or music associated with religious weddings, such as the Wagner mentioned above) is allowed to be played. You will still need to decide on pieces for the arrival of the bride and the exit music, as well as coming up with some ideas for the music during the signing of the register and for when your guests enter the room and wait for the ceremony to begin. Other than that, your options are really much greater – you could hire a soloist or a group of musicians to play your favourite pieces, or else have recordings played over the PA system (this might work better if you decide to use rock or pop music). I’m currently working on some pieces that will be composed specifically for a wedding that’s taking place this June, set to the couple’s favourite poems – this is a great idea if you want to really personalise the ceremony. When thinking about the actual event, thought, take into account that locations for civil ceremonies rarely have a piano or organ onsite so any live musician would need to bring his / her own equipment.
The music for the drinks reception and the wedding breakfast are often catered for with a single solution. Some think that it is appropriate to have a quiet area in which the guests can gather for pre-dinner drinks where are others prefer some form of live music. Popular options include solo pianists and small chamber groups such as string quartets or classical trios. Certainly, it would be normal for a little light music to accompany the day’s meal but, again, be sure that the venue organisers have accounted for the space required if live musicians are needed to be present in the dining room. Also, be very specific about what it is you would like them to play – pianists will mostly ‘fill in’ the silences with cocktail style arrangements of popular songs, unless otherwise directed, and it would be the norm for chamber ensembles to play light classics such as Mozart and Haydn quartets. If there is one or two particular pieces you’d really like played then let the musicians know well in advance so that they can purchase any music and get fully prepared. Equally, if you’d like mostly Irish music or your wife’s mother is a big Tom Jones fan then a word in the ear of any pianist will be enough to have him / her meet these requirements, as long as you give that person enough time to organise the music (at least a few weeks). Some musicians advertise as able to ‘take requests’ but even in this case be aware that no man is an encyclopaedia!
A word about the evening reception: wedding DJ’s often come out of a mould holding a vinyl copy of Daydream Believer in one hand and a CD-single of I Am the Music Man in the other. This is all very well if you and your guests are fans of retro-pop-cheese: let’s face it, we all like a good dance at the end of the night to see off a cracking day! But, if you want anything a bit different at your evening reception then you need to be very careful about the person you choose to organise the music – perhaps enquire at your favourite nightclub or approach a band that plays the kind of style you’re into. Whatever you do, make sure that the music reflects what you want out of the evening – some friends of mine went to the lengths of programming an iPod with all the songs they wanted playing and simply sticking it through a PA system in the hotel, thus saving money on a DJ and getting an entire evening of the songs that they loved. This isn’t everyone’s idea of an ideal evening reception but, set off by a live band, it made a unique and memorable night after an unforgettable day. Do what you need to give your wedding the same kind of personal touch.
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Great post! I found a lot of similarities with your post and information I found on this website, which I found very helpful in planning my reception, cocktail and ceremony music ideas. All the best!
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