FMS-Blog : The Wildly Whimsical, Mostly Musical WebLog
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
The Dash
Funeral services can be strained, particularly when the grieving family is, like ours, made up of people who have wildly differing views about the nature of life and death. The funeral we had for my Granddad at the end of last week was a source of some anxiety because some members of my family are deeply religious where others represent the agnostic and atheist sections of society. And, to make matters worse, there was some confusion over just how 'Christian' my Granddad was, and so simply carrying out a funeral according to his wishes would be easier said than done.
As it happens, we managed to organise a service that seemed to satisfy the wishes of the majority of family members while also doing great honour to the life of my Grandfather. The reverend who conducted the service understood that some of Jack's relatives had very strong feelings about these matters, and he did a grand job of getting through the minefield without causing any casualties, sorta speak. The service was mainly Christian but also acknowledged more secular angles, for example with poems like the one below that he read and that I personally thought nicely captured the mood. It is called The Dash and was written by Linda Ellis.
As it happens, we managed to organise a service that seemed to satisfy the wishes of the majority of family members while also doing great honour to the life of my Grandfather. The reverend who conducted the service understood that some of Jack's relatives had very strong feelings about these matters, and he did a grand job of getting through the minefield without causing any casualties, sorta speak. The service was mainly Christian but also acknowledged more secular angles, for example with poems like the one below that he read and that I personally thought nicely captured the mood. It is called The Dash and was written by Linda Ellis.
I read of a reverend who stood to speak
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?
