FMS-Blog : The Wildly Whimsical, Mostly Musical WebLog
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Eulogy
Back in July, I wrote a blog from the heart about the horrific way that we treat the older people in our society: those who are often too sick in body or mind to make choices about the most basic things in their lives. Specifically, I was referring to the condition that my Granddad had been left in for over 10 years - a shadow of his former self due to repeated strokes. It beggars belief, I thought, that we let people cling onto life in this way, stripping them of the only thing they have left: their dignity.
It was frankly harrowing to see my Granddad 'Jack' in this state, especially having known him before he was struck by illness. He was an incredibly proud man, even to the point of being pig-headed sometimes, and yet always watched out for us all in the family. His traditional values were at the core of his being and he was quick to give an opinion on any matter you care to name. This is the person we have known as our Granddad for our entire lives and, in my view, when he had his first stroke it was this - his personality - that he was primarily stripped of. Following strokes continued to make life harder for him, eventually reducing him to a person who was wholly depend on nursing staff at the home to do those things that just keep him alive, such as eating and using the bathroom, and someone who was not even capable of vocalising anything more complicated than 'yes' and 'no'. In terms of the way he dealt with people, a softer side of his personality gradually began to show but I maintain that this was not the person we grew up to know and love and it was cruel to allow Granddad to lose the one thing that is most precious: himself.
In the early hours of yesterday morning, during a clear moonlit night, Granddad Jack died in the Bradford Royal Infirmary. At last, he has been spared and allowed to return to the earth as the strong, intelligent and passionate individual we have all missed for over a decade. Life is all we have and it should be valued but Granddad's case highlights to me that, for me, life only matters if you are free to live it as you see fit. I will continue to miss Granddad in days to come. I will look back with fondness to days spent playing on the street where he and my Grandma lived, interrupting the tinkering he always seemed to be doing on some car or other and constantly rushing in and out of their house to get cakes and ice lollies. And I will mourn Granddad's death while feeling relieved that he can finally be at peace.
John Lawton
10th July 1926 - 3rd February 2007
R.I.P.
It was frankly harrowing to see my Granddad 'Jack' in this state, especially having known him before he was struck by illness. He was an incredibly proud man, even to the point of being pig-headed sometimes, and yet always watched out for us all in the family. His traditional values were at the core of his being and he was quick to give an opinion on any matter you care to name. This is the person we have known as our Granddad for our entire lives and, in my view, when he had his first stroke it was this - his personality - that he was primarily stripped of. Following strokes continued to make life harder for him, eventually reducing him to a person who was wholly depend on nursing staff at the home to do those things that just keep him alive, such as eating and using the bathroom, and someone who was not even capable of vocalising anything more complicated than 'yes' and 'no'. In terms of the way he dealt with people, a softer side of his personality gradually began to show but I maintain that this was not the person we grew up to know and love and it was cruel to allow Granddad to lose the one thing that is most precious: himself.
In the early hours of yesterday morning, during a clear moonlit night, Granddad Jack died in the Bradford Royal Infirmary. At last, he has been spared and allowed to return to the earth as the strong, intelligent and passionate individual we have all missed for over a decade. Life is all we have and it should be valued but Granddad's case highlights to me that, for me, life only matters if you are free to live it as you see fit. I will continue to miss Granddad in days to come. I will look back with fondness to days spent playing on the street where he and my Grandma lived, interrupting the tinkering he always seemed to be doing on some car or other and constantly rushing in and out of their house to get cakes and ice lollies. And I will mourn Granddad's death while feeling relieved that he can finally be at peace.
John Lawton10th July 1926 - 3rd February 2007
R.I.P.
